Secrets of the Czech National Defense System

Nemrég beszereztem 3 új cseh nyelvkönyvet, melyek segítségével töretlen lelkesedéssel folytathatom tanulmányaimat, és mint kiderült, igazán jól is szórakozhatok közben. Az egyiknek ugyanis ez áll a bevezetőjében:

"As a globetrotting tourist to the Czech Republic I was amazed at and confused by the survival of a culture in which Czech men are so completely non-aggressive and peaceful, complimented by the truly breath-taking, stunning beauty of the Czech women. For a thousand years the Czechs have been living here and have been invaded and conquered a dozen times, yet the Czech language, culture, blood lines, and buildings appear to have survived for the most part completely unaffected. World history is littered with peaceful cultures that have been decimated by stronger aggressive invading forces. How could the Czech culture survive when so many other cultures have not? Eventually I came to realize that they survived because of the secret Czech National Defense System. The Czech National Defense System is a secret known by all Czechs... the language.

(...)

I imagine that Czech was so difficult for the foreign invaders that they were unable to interact in a meaningful way with the Czechs. The foreign invaders eventually tired of not being able to communicate much of anything to anyone, so they left, leaving the culture unaffected. When the next invaders came, the Czechs realized that with the secret defensive power of their technically sophisticated language, being non-violent would do less damage to life and property. The Czechs laughed at the pretensions of the crude steel weaponry of the foreigners, and hosted the new temporary administrators in the big castle on the hill, knowing they too would tire of being here, and leave if they could not talk with anyone. The protection of the Czech language has been a part of the culture for so long that it is done effortlessly by all, perhaps not even consciously.

(...)

Of course I realize that by divulging these secrets, my co-author and I run the risk of being thrown from the Clock Tower by the city fathers. But then... perhaps by possession of this book, you run the same risk as well. Let the buyer beware!"